gotta start somewhere.

Hi. It's me. The Queen of Excuses. This morning I got on the scale for the first time in probably a year. OH. MY. GOD. 

Listen, I'll be honest. I've never had a good relationship with food or my body. At 29 years old, I still associate being pretty with being skinny. I look at other women of all shapes and sizes and see beauty, but in the mirror, I just see fat. After losing my mom in October 2008, I joined Weight Watchers with one of my mom's best friends - who happens to be my godmother. We went EVERY SINGLE WEEK together. It was wonderful... and I lost almost 50 pounds! I felt AMAZING... sexy, confident... it was freaking GLORIOUS!! 

Then (insert Jaws theme song), I met my now ex-fiance. Somehow in the span of 6+ years, I gained it all back. I've now been single for 3 years but didn't have the motivation to lose it. I had the energy to complain about it though - that's for damn sure. And then today, I got up and got on that scale. The number I saw made me want to cry. I won't lie about that for a second. But for the first time, I also felt ANGRY. I don't want this to be my life anymore. I don't want to hate getting dressed, meeting people, leaving the house. I decided - enough is enough. 

I signed back up for Weight Watchers - online only this time, which is new for me. This is just a familiar way to help me track food. I also started an Instagram account to share my journey - skinnyminnie_ww and to hopefully hold myself accountable. I had surgery August 10th so I'm not able to do too much in the gym, but I will start tonight with cardio on the treadmill. Nothing crazy. But my goal is 5 days a week (at least). 

I hope more than anything that I stick to this. I honestly don't know what I'll do if I don't. I'm going to Disney World (my favorite place on the planet.. hence the 'Minnie' 😁) on January 31 - 132 days away. I don't want to hide from the camera like I normally do. I don't want to walk through the parks feeling like 'the fat friend' like I always do. At this point, I don't even want to put a number on how many pounds I'd like to lose, because if I fail to reach that goal, I'm more likely to quit yet again. 

I'm creating this blog to document my journey and give me a place to vent so that my negative tendencies don't drive my friends crazy. 

So to you, if you're reading this and struggling the way I have been... WE GOT THIS!

xo, 
Skinny Minnie